Conversion/confessions of a pessimist

Isn't it fascinating, the differences in personalities and how the Lord fits all of us imperfect folks together. Usually, when 2 people marry, one will be the person with a huge world-view…... A person who has no trouble seeing God as limitless and therefore has amazing vision and plans for what the Lord can do. Sometimes this also includes the amazing ability to sit at the Lords feet long enough to hear HOW He wants these plans to unfold! Fortunately this personality also must include a filter. Folks like this are usually paired up with someone that is more of a down to earth type who sees things on a smaller scale in a ‘realistic’ but limited perspective. Praise God for the filter that takes the limited ‘world-view advice’ and brings this perspective to the Lord’s feet. Not to limit the Lord, but to figure out IF there is any wisdom to be found or if it is just a device that the enemy is utilizing in order to steal from God’s limitless abilities to work through us!
Most of you who really know John and I can pretty much figure out 'who is who' in this scenario. If you don’t well then just keep reading!
Although I would love to be the one who has the limitless world view, I am not one of those folks and usually play things pretty safe. It is a blast to ‘live vicariously’ through the dreamers, contribute to the dream and get that amazing awestruck glimpse of what the Lord can do with ‘no inhibitions’. When the rubber meets the road though, and when it is time to act of those limitless plans………. When my ‘faith in theory’ is put to the test to see if it is real or just a façade……… My flesh likes to play the role of a, for lack of a better term, party~pooper!
I know in my head, that a plan so huge could only be of the Lord, BUT yet it is so easy, to allow ME to creep in and spoil the whole thing! To slip into my flesh and put on the brakes to thwart something awesome God might have planned! I am the first person to bring limitations back into the picture. Somehow, in my flesh, I feel the need to inform the Lord, that there might be things He has not yet considered that may stand in the way of these ‘grandiose, bigger than life itself’ plans.
This realization made me contemplate how many times I have missed out on something pretty amazing due to the fact that I was too short sighted. In doing so, I settled for what is ordinary rather than the extr-ordinary! How many occasions, due to pride, selfishness, comfort or just a narrow world view, God’s plans just really didn’t fit into my personal reality. Instead of turning to the Lord, and pleading with Him to mold me, by broadening my world-view to fit His plan, instead I have cheapened His plan in order to force it to fit my reality/comfort. Meaning, that there were many times my comfort level & lack of obedience, put God’s plans in a box! However, the cool thing is that through this whole move, I have seen the Lord bigger than I have ever seen Him before. I watched Him ‘move mountains’ to get us here which in turn, makes me more open to broadening my world view to whatever He wants to do next. Without our pre-conceived boundaries, we have no need to limited God to fit Him into our circumstances.
Many times we don’t want God to be limitless because it may cost us something.
Romans 12: 1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Phil 2: 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
I am sure you are all a bit curious about what got me into pondering all this and it was something totally simplistic. It was almost like God gave me a glimpse of a before and after scenario. I was listening to our pastor’s wife the other day share a pretty amazing event that God had placed on her heart. How she wasn’t certain on the particulars of where, when and how but that, in His timing, she was suppose to put it together. She was talking about some pretty awesome limitless possibilities that God could use to reach out to the community, which is always very exciting, since this is what we came here to do! For once in my life, the Lord allowed me to see HIS limitlessness in the concept, where as so often my flesh would take over and run amuck. Usually the flesh gets precedence first to run amuck and THEN I turn to the Lord and allow Him to change my heart. Must have been the Holy Spirit to help me put on the mind of Christ! I found that instead of thinking about why they could never work it made me think of how awesome if at the Lord’s leading we could put those plans into action! Just a small victory for the Lord that was pretty neat to give Him the Glory for!