Ya know those people who don't have much of a testimony because they were raised in church? I used to think that was me. Most people assume that is who I am. Despite the fact that I was raised in the church and taught about the Lord from a very early age, I did not really 'get it' till much later into my teens.
To say the least, I was a no where near a 'good' Christian kid. Back then, the Christian community was lacking in any tools available for Christian parents who were newbies to the faith. Since my parent's friends were also newly saved among the people in the Jesus movement, there were not many established Christian folk willing to put up with that crowd. The ones who had not been given a legacy of knowing the Lord through their parents, seemed to stay put in thier own religious communities fearing the change to the body of Christ with all these odd new comers. Although my parents were never hippies, once they got saved they would provide transportation to the hippies that wanted to attend church.
My parents longed to raise both my brother and I to have an intimate relationship with the Lord, however, in the abscence of Godly mentors to model or share Godly parenting principles, it was not easy. There were NO Godly parenting books at this time either. It is true that the Bible is the original instruction manual regarding parenting, yet when you are at the end of your rope in battling defiant behaviors, sometimes discernment goes out the window. When everything you are trying is not bearing fruit and most of the time you are at the end of your sanity, it is SO beneficial to have Godly mentors to come alongside. If mentors are unavailable, some sort of parenting manual with Godly wisdom/perspective to renew your focus is a lifeline of hope. While their desires were pure and determined to do right by my brother and I, there was an unknown and explainable turmoil in our household. I was the cause of said discord. When James Dosbson wrote The Strong Willed Child, it was the only clarity offered amongst the rebellion taking place in their home.
My parents longed to raise both my brother and I to have an intimate relationship with the Lord, however, in the abscence of Godly mentors to model or share Godly parenting principles, it was not easy. There were NO Godly parenting books at this time either. It is true that the Bible is the original instruction manual regarding parenting, yet when you are at the end of your rope in battling defiant behaviors, sometimes discernment goes out the window. When everything you are trying is not bearing fruit and most of the time you are at the end of your sanity, it is SO beneficial to have Godly mentors to come alongside. If mentors are unavailable, some sort of parenting manual with Godly wisdom/perspective to renew your focus is a lifeline of hope. While their desires were pure and determined to do right by my brother and I, there was an unknown and explainable turmoil in our household. I was the cause of said discord. When James Dosbson wrote The Strong Willed Child, it was the only clarity offered amongst the rebellion taking place in their home.
My mom had one prayer for me as I was growing up. (Besides the prayer of "Lord please help me NOT kill this child of mine") "I pray you never have a child like you," were words that I thought were so odd. Many moms, when they have are blessed with a child that tests the limits of their sanity, in turn, tells said child "I hope you have a child just like YOU so you know how it feels!" Well, my mom said the exact opposite (Possibly thinking I may kill a child that dared to be more strong willed than I was). I suppose either thought passes on the idea that your child is pretty much the devil incarnate, but even so I am alive to tell about it. You see, many kids are fairly well behaved throughout their elementary years, yet it is at the teens that they may possibly rebel. Since I am not anywhere near normal, most of my rebellion occured in my formative years from 2-10. There was no reasoning with me when I became angry. Walls became punching bags and doors were barriers to be broken down. My father became an expert at repairing holes in walls.
At a very early age I came to the knowledge of what the words 'spiritual battle' meant. It often played out in my awake hours before bedtime. Praying was the only weapon I had against the things that tormented me at night and fear became a constant barrier to a healthy amount of sleep.
If I were a child in this day and age, I MAY be labeled with the following diagnosises: Oppositional Defiant Disorder, ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, possibly Bi-Polar and definately in need of Anger management. Being very angry, stubborn and self reliant, was an effort to grasp at control when so much of my life that was filled with what I could not possibly control.
I was not being abused nor was I in any imminent REAL danger. Yet I had constant re-occurring day dreams that plagued me with a very real, yet intangible episodes of paralyzing fear. To be continued.....
If I were a child in this day and age, I MAY be labeled with the following diagnosises: Oppositional Defiant Disorder, ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, possibly Bi-Polar and definately in need of Anger management. Being very angry, stubborn and self reliant, was an effort to grasp at control when so much of my life that was filled with what I could not possibly control.
I was not being abused nor was I in any imminent REAL danger. Yet I had constant re-occurring day dreams that plagued me with a very real, yet intangible episodes of paralyzing fear. To be continued.....
