20 something......

God put it on my heart today to highlight this blogger at Amazima ministries.
What she writes is not necessarily a feel good type of message. Don't we American Christians hear enough of that junk already? I love that about her! She is blunt, honest and revealing here.
Miss Katie is wise beyond her years as she continues to follow God's plan for her life rather than her own. She is an amazing imperfect 20 something year old young woman in in Africa caring for orphans ALL BY HERSELF!

I am not sure what you were contemplating in your late teens and early 20's but I confess my contemplations were quite shallow. They went along the lines of many American's these days who don't see much beyond their own comfortable lives and family units. While it is not wrong to seek the Lord regarding everything that pertains to our lives and He encourages us to do this, is this your only focus? Unfortunately, at this point of my life it was really "all about me" rather than taking on a more global world view.

~ What do I want to be when I 'grow up'?
~ When will I meet the man I will marry?
~ When will I have kids?

In my many hours of prayer asking these things of the Lord and not much else, He did at one point granted me 'children'. Even in my luke warm "what about me" prayers, God fulfilled one of those desires. Not because I was ready, prepared, equipped or 'special' but because He used whatever limited resources of my obedience to reach beyond my wants and needs. He used this desire to get my focus off myself so that I could reach out to troubled teens at a youth ranch to work with trouble teen by being a dorm mom to them. This was an amazing yet challenging point in my walk with Him. I no longer could do things on my own but NEEDED the Lord to fill me with his strength, wisdom and discernment daily. God drew me nearer to Himself so that I no longer "needed" the things that I used to pray for. Instead my prayers were focused on my girls, their hearts, their salvation, and lasting changes in their lives that would follow them into their own legacies.

Due to my self imposed limitations/comforts, God did use what He could.......... but I wonder sometimes about how much more I could have been used if God had not been limited! You see, unlike Ms. Katie, I had and still struggle with too much self-focus. We sometimes can't see past my own comfort or schedule to even ask the Lord if He has something bigger in mind.

While it is not 'wrong' to seek the Lord to meet your needs, that word need is so superficial. So many people have way more than they NEED yet we are always asking for MORE. Time is so short here on this earth and many unsuspecting GOOD people are going to hell. Yet, so much of the church is stuck in a self-indulgent rut. SO busy occupying time with the external while wasting valuable resources on things that have no eternal value. So busy in the daily grind, that we seem to forget that WE are not the only people on the planet. Satan has us so distracted with our own selfish ambitions that we don't see people to the left or right perishing....... When I read of Ms. Katie over in Africa she challenges me to look outside my own comfort. So I challenge you, what are you put on this earth to do? Have you ever asked the Lord if He has something bigger in store for you? Are you ready to count the cost if He tells you HIS plans for you or your family include giving up __________? Many of us live mundane and uneventful lives because we do not allow God to really be LORD OF ALL. We fill slots of time with business to avoid hearing from the Lord. We are too busy telling Him what we can handle rather than asking Him to give us the ability to handle ALL that He has in store for us!

Make sure to pause my music on the side bar to hear this song. Here is an amazing video that explains a little about Katie's passion:


Lyrics are as follows:

I am sitting still
I think of Angelique
Her mother's voice over me
And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent

And on a thousandth hill
I think of Albertine
There in her eyes what I don't see
With my own

Rwanda

[Chorus]
Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go 'till you are

No no, yeah

And I am on a plane
Across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
And in the dust on, the dust on, the dust on, the dust on
The dust on my feet

Rwanda

Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go 'till you are

I will tell the world
I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word
I will tell them, Albertine

Rwanda

Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go 'till you are

Mmm

And I am on a stage
A thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine
I will tell them, Albertine

Some questions you may ask yourself based on these lyrics:

What have we SEEN that we are NOW responsible to act upon? Is your faith too dead to act?

Are you willing to obey whatever calling the Lord has in store?

Is our salvation used to further the Kingdom, or an inclusion that focuses on self?

How can the experiences God has allowed in our lives be effectively utilized?

"Bad will be the day for every man when he becomes absolutely contented with the life he is leading, with the thoughts he is thinking, with the deeds he is doing; when there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger, which he knows that he was meant and made to do because he is still, in spite of all, the child of God." Phillips Brooks

Time for....... you decide

I was listening to this song the other day while painting. I had heard it many times prior to this, however, it is amazing that when you are otherwise scatterbrained, you don't actually "hear" what is playing in the backround. This time, I heard for the first time how deep this song really is. I would venture to say that it is the story of the work God began in me before our move. It is still an unfinished work, as we all are. However, it is my prayer, year by year, to allow this process of God's house cleaning. To continually ask for refining/purification so that God has HIS way into shaping me into who HE desires me to be.
No matter how long you have been saved,there are always times to allow the Lord to CLEAN HOUSE. We never become immunized to change and allow the Lord to purge our 'old man.' Dont get me wrong, it hurts, it is hard and even a bit traumatic at times, however the result is pure freedom. When we get saved and repent, all of our past is forgiven! We have a clean slate! Unfortunatley, sometimes we continue to 'hold on' fearing what may happen if we let God have ALL of our baggage! We sometimes like to take our baggage with us just to keep it 'safe'. Sad thing is this is a lie from Satan. This is bondage! Bondage to our former self, our past sin, and finally bondage to the present sin....... Lack of trust that the Lord can handle our fragile hurting hearts with the same amount of care He handles our eternity. When listening to this song, ask the Lord to search your heart to find those things that have been 'broken too long'. The Lover of your Soul is just waiting on you.
Make sure to mute my music on the side bar to hear this amazing song! Lyrics below!



It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...

To... Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time to face up Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This *IS* something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up Clean this old house
Time *to* breathe in and let everything out

After allowing the Lord to search your heart, if you find that there is a lot more cleaning that you want the Lord to do I highly recommend going through the study Healed & Set Free by Tammy Brown. This site has a very good description of what it entails. There is even an audio file where you can listen to the author's testimony. I can truely say that it is the best investment I have ever made in a bible study. It is not just a book of ideas and quick fixes. It is a labor of love for HOW the bible applies to HEALING the deepest wounds and truely moving on. Even good bible believing churches tend to lean toward adopting physchological non-sence to sustain a 'status quo' of misery and bondage. Being faced with the scriptures in this book changed my marriage, my family, friendships and my perspective on who I am in Christ.

Loves & Hugs!

Shock & Awe

This post is dated just 2 years to the date where the Lord first allowed us to come to Florida. At this time 2 years ago we were hustling around packing for the vacation of a lifetime. We had amazing plans to visit Walt Disney World AND more importantly, meet my hubby's birth~daughter for our first face to face meeting. The kids were so excited to meet a sister they had only heard about from e-mail, pictures and phone calls. You can read a bit about that here. Without that pre-ordained plan to come spend time with her, we probably would have never visited Florida. What an amazing gift we have been given to have her on our lives. Who would have ever figured a simple visit of a lifetime would be the precursor to something way bigger?

As of February 4th, we are the owners of a home that we do not deserve. It is a huge blessing and I can't even comprehend why the Lord would so abundantly give us our hearts desires. Especially after the many temper tantrums I avoided blogging about when I knew I was going to have to sell our last home....... On the outside, I was trying to be excited about this new plan from the Lord. I didn't want to quench His plan by mourning our losses/counting the cost, OUT LOUD. However, in my heart of hearts, I didn't want to. I could only see the reality of giving up my family's fingerprints on that home. The time invested there making memories. I know we are not to hold on to earthy treasures, but I really didn't want to let that one go. Remember in the Old Testament where their mourning was filled with sitting in ashes and wearing sackcloth? My dramatic pity party was quite similar to this with the exception that my mourning was all about something that is going to burn.

When I look at the blessing of this house the we just purchased, it is just an amazing testimony of the character of God. While I am so reactionary when He takes away a blessing that we didn't deserve in the first place, He remains the same. He still wants to bless my socks off regardless of if I deserve it. His amazing provisions are not based upon anything I can earn, but about resting in His grace. While this new home doesn't have my family's fingerprints on it quite yet, in some ways I hope it never does. At least not in the same manner my last one did. Effectively being able to use God's provision for HIS glory is all I should be satisfied with. Don't get me wrong, I want to make it inviting, pretty and LESS COLORFUL, but I never want it to take captive a special place in my heart. To make me second guess the fact that God always has our best interest at heart if He wanted us to give it up tomorrow. The difference between Earthly treasures and the things that God finds worth in are quite clear.

Proverbs 24:3 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; 4 through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Isaiah 33:5 The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high; he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness. 6 He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure.

Matthew 6:19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Lord, continue to guard my heart so that what my heart treasures, are reflective of what you find worth in!

Stolen Opportunities

As I was trying to fall asleep last night the Lord brought to remembrance something that happened a while back with my middle child. He wanted me to blog about it so I hope it is for someone else's benfit besides just me.

We were waiting at our local Warehouse club to get gas. There were 2 cars in the stalls pumping and I was the second in line to be next. The place was crowded so there were a lot of people waiting in lines at each stall. A eldery gentleman walked from one of the other stalls to the payment booth to make his purchase with cash. I was not paying much attention to this man but apparently, on his way back from making the purchase, he dropped some money on the ground. My dear middle child spotted the sight and immediately alerted me to what had just transpired. I must admit that I was a bit suspect to how she could have witnessed this from so far away and being tired I just "poo poo-ed" it off, hoping she would let it go. For those of you who know my dear, sweet, middle child, you will probably laugh at the fact that I hoped she would just 'let it go'. You see, this type of thing is just not in her nature! My DD persisted in asking if she could go look and return the money to this man. In order to quiet her, at first I told her to go out with her sister to look. However, my flesh began to speak to me. "What will people think if you let your children run wild in the gas station parking lot; what a reckless mother!" So after this thought entered and they were just about to make a break for it, I hastily told them to wait till we parked in our gas stall. I explained RATIONALIZED that after second thought, it just was not safe to allow children to look for something while surrounded by moving cars at a gas station. Once we parked, the girls quickly got out and couldn't wait to do their searching. To my surprise ERROR, my DD was correct. She HAD seen the man drop money and it was a $10 bill. Unfortunately, because I procrastinated in letting her look for the money, she was too late to return it to the man who had lost it. He had driven away! We had to settle instead by giving it to the teller in hopes the man may come to realize his loss and return to the station.

SO, why was the Lord bringing me back to this scenario? Many times our children have amazing opportunities to do what is right and let their lights shine for Jesus. They can be stifled, however, by their parental counterparts. DRAT! Their faith is child-like in that it is not hindered by the adult list of CAN'T or WON'T. Rather than encouraging her in the ability to do what is right, I stole from her, the opportunity to shine the light of Jesus. While one of my reasons may have been valid (danger of kids walking around the gas station) there would have been no harm in me getting out to look with them. Who cares if the guy behind me got his panties in a bunch and honked at me. Maybe my family was his lesson in patience that day? It was the "what would people think" and my own exhaustion that became dominant excuses for laziness.

~How can we foster the right opportunities when we are blinded by our adult inhibitions or selfishness?

Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.....

This little analogy that God was using to get my attention is a well noted lesson. I want to see less of ME and more of the Lord in my daily goings on. That He would give me many more opportunitites DO-OVER'S to seize opportunities for His Glory rather than steal the moment for convenience sake. In the business of the day how many God-moments do we miss due to our own agenda and muddling through..... Just my thoughts on a missed opportunity! Love ya all!

News about the house we are buying!

As many of you may know we have been searching for a house for quite a while now in and around Lehigh Acres. I will not lie, our search has not been without set-backs, discouragement and quite a bit of doubt. God told us quite a while ago, that we were to move out there. However, when things were not falling into place right away and we were not seeing any homes that would work, there was a lot of doubt.
Each time we would doubt the Lord would, ever so gently, tell us to wait on Him. That He really did have a plan and that His plan has a perfect timing. The last house that I blogged about here was a very good find, but the price wasn’t quite right for us. The Lord told John that this was our home, but he never really got a solid confirmation about a price. I did get confirmation on a price, but it seemed highly unlikely that the bank would come down to that when it had only been on the market for 5 days. We initially made a full price offer on the house and if you read my last post about it you will know how much I wrestled with it. The cool praise behind it was that the bank refused our terms, so we walked away, watched and waited. After a period of time, we digressed and began looking at other properties, with the impression the Lord closed that door. At this point, our doubting became an action of disobedience. We widened our search area to include the east side of Fort Myers, and looked outside the area God told us. We actually did find 2 homes in North Fort Myers that were very neat and tugged at our flesh! However, one was a bit out of our price range and the other was an older home. Either one would have been an excellent purchase/deal, but God was silent. We were trying too hard to make his will come to pass in an area we were not suppose to be!
After about a month went by and Christmas came and went, we noticed the price went down over $10,000. This brought the home into our price range. However, we were guarded with that because sometimes there are reasons why the price falls due to vandalism and key elements being stolen. This was not the case though. After seeking the Lord on it we made an offer with the seller paying 6% commission. They responded back saying that there would be no offer they would accept unless they only had to pay 3%. This was the reason why they refused our first offer! Basically it is the banks way of making sure you can afford the property. SO we countered a reduced price as if they were paying the full 6% and they accepted!
Buying a foreclosure, while it is a great deal, is very tedious! Many of the common fees paid for by the seller have been on top of their 3% and an additional portion of our transaction. While unexpected and weird because it is unlike any other house buying experience, the Lord has been guiding the whole process. The whole reason I waited to blog about it was because our realtor and mortgage broker kept warning us that the deal may fall through. Due to all the foreclosures and cash flow that is easier to deal with than waiting for loans, many deals like ours are not going through for some reason or another. So with all the nightmare stories we heard, we kept our hearts open to the fact that just maybe God might have another plan. Inspections have been done, surveys are complete and insurance was acquired on the property. Closing is suppose to take place on February 5th. So we wanted to share our new home with you! These are definitely the BEFORE pictures as we know this house needs A LOT of tender lovin care! Hopefully once we paint and replace some things it will be cute! Here is a picture of the front at the Real estate listing link. The rest are on a slide show I will place below!
CastleStone house

If any of you would like to see the layout much like the ones you get when deciding on a model home, I have a schematic that I drew on word that I can send you via e-mail as an attachment!

Click here to view these pictures larger

I was having trouble viewing these photos so you may have to use the "Click here to view there pictures larger" link! Thanks for all your prayers during this process! As you can see, we needed it!

Hello Lord

Hello Lord By Sarah Groves:





I saw these lyrics on another blog today here. Dont forget to mute my music on the side bar if you want to hear the song above.
Not sure how many of you have ever felt this way, but these lyrics were so reminiscint of our journey to find the home God has for us here in Florida. I am working on a blog about the home we think the Lord blessing us with, however, I would like to wait for more details to share!
For those of you maybe in the same boat. Maybe you are waiting to hear the Lord but not sure if He is whispering. Don't lose heart! He wants to speak to any heart wanting to hear His sweet voice!

Here are the lyrics:

Hello Lord, it’s me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I’m faced with big decisions
And I’m wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don’t hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you’re saying but
Right now, I just can’t hear you.

I don’t doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you’re saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don’t hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you’re saying but
Right now, I just can’t hear you.

And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I’m waiting on you

Right now I don’t hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you’re saying but
Right now, I think you’re whispering

Uncommon New Years goals

This Sunday I got to go to church………….. Here are some things I thought were pretty neat to ponder on.
The pastor started off by asking how many of us thought 2009 was a good year? I thought it odd that no one raised their hand because I didn’t think 2009 was bad, per-say. I do not live in a bubble and realize there are some pretty major things that made 2009 not very pleasant:
~America is beginning to realize the weight of their poor presidential choices when they elected a man that wasn’t qualified to take the presidential office. However, due to that poor choice we are seeing end times prophecy fulfilled very quickly!
~We live in an area of Florida that has been hit hard by the economy and people have lost homes and jobs all around the USA. Despite this, God still continues to use trials to strengthen our faith and take care of His people all over the globe, even if it is not the same way He used to take care of them!
The pastor went on to say that this year 2010 IS whatever we chose to make of it. We can choose to have joy and show others, that the light of the Lord lives in us OR we can choose to focus on circumstances which either rob us of our joy and/or get our focus off the Lord. To further his point of choosing joy in the New Year he went to the be-attitudes in Matt 5:3-16 to get the full understanding of what we should seek after.
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. 13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
I love that he pointed out the fact that these things that follow "Blessed are the……." in the passages above, are not typically on the "goals list" for the New Year. He joked that if he held a seminar titled with the following list he probably wouldn’t get any takers. :o) To be poor in spirit (spiritually bankrupt), to mourn, to be meek(power under control), to be persecuted, to have lies spread about you because of the Jesus………. Hmmmm, these are usually never things we aspire to, or ask for. However, what if we did ask for these things? Would we then have the radiant love of Christ that could not be masked by circumstance, trial or menial everyday tasks? Wouldn’t Jesus be faithful to fulfill them through us!
Then came his analogy on verse 6, about hunger and thirsting for righteousness. The word Righteousness here, from the Greek, means Equity of Character. If we are to have a life that is hungering and thirsting for a character that has worth or equity, the only way we can achieve such a character is to seek spiritual food. The Bible.
When an infant is born it needs to eat often, but he doesn’t really eat much each time. Likewise a baby Christian, NEEDS to be nourished by the word more often than just once a day. Since new believers are fighting many spiritual battles with old worldly patterns of behavior, their intake of the word may need to be frequent and in short spurts. This can be accomplished by listening to bible studies, posting scriptures around the house to memorize them, accountability groups and time alone with the Lord.
As the child grows into adulthood, his meals get larger, but he eats less frequently. As an older believer, I know I can become slack in nurturing my spiritual life and taking in the larger portions. Sometimes we can be fooled into thinking the snack-sized portions are good enough because we already know a lot of what the bible says. This misconception of necessity, doesn’t take into account our continual spiritual bankruptcy! It doesn’t consider, that God uses his word, daily, to speak to us personally according to whatever our current situation is. God, in His foreknowledge, also sees what will be coming ahead of us and if we are seeking after Him for those larger portions, we may not miss His gentle warning or preparation of what is to come. The verse here says we are to continually hunger and thirst for righteousness. We are not to snack on or nibble on it, but to really seek after the meat found in the word. If we do not, we will not be filled, prepared or focused for what God has in store. He wants us to desire larger portions, dig deeper, study more and get to the heart of what God is telling us, rather than being satisfied to our current head knowledge or daily reading. Many times this means getting out of our comfort zones and when we "don’t feel like it" pray and ask the Lord to renew our hunger and thirst!
Another analogy he used was a boxing analogy. You have 2 boxers of equal skill that are scheduled to fight. One is eating in order to be competitive bulking up on protein, carbs and veggies, while the other is just snacking on bread. The one who is eating to compete will win because he will have the energy needed to complete the task. It is the same with our daily intake from the word. If we are eating to win the race and to keep our focus on the Lord, our portion with the Lord will be complete so that our walk be a living witness to others. If we are just nibbling or snacking, weariness has the ability to take over and take out focus off the Lord. Thresult of this is similar to the salt that has lost its flavor and a light put under a basket.
If many of us who make those New Years resolutions, did so by sticking to the words in this passage alone, could we be the salt and light that was referred to in the verses 13-16? Never thought my New Years goals would have to do with those things but it is apparent that if we want to radiate Christ and be effective in our walks, these are the qualities that God says we need!