About a couple years prior to Benjamen's birth, my brother and sister-in-law were being drawn to the calling of becoming foster parents. This was WAY before there was an awareness or organized "Orphan Ministries" in the church and prior to Christians taking their call to care for the fatherless seriously. Many of the folks at our church just smiled inquisitively when my brother and sister-in-law had an opportunity to share what they were being lead to do. To be honest, I was no help to this either. While I wanted what was best for their family in any calling, I worked with Foster kids in DCF's care, for a period of time between 1991 - 1995. Being a witness to the lack of support systems & resources available to foster parents while knowing my brother was working with many of their parents in jail, it just didn't 'make sense' to put their family at risk. Although, working with the kind of children than came into DCF care very wounded, it was an optimal situation to place them in the care of their stable, loving and consistent home and show them Jesus. PRAISE GOD they continued in this calling and DIDN'T listen to my concerns!
Worldy wisdom/knowledge can be more of a hindrance towards obeying the Lord, than having a blind, hopeful & undefiled faith. Moving forward, knowing that God has your back is way more important than having all the 'experience' or information.
They did have a couple kids in and out of their home. There was one temporary placement that stayed with them for a time but then went back home. They also had done some respite care for other foster parents. A couple weeks prior to Benjamen's birth they got a call to take into care a set of siblings that were 3 years and 6 months old. What sweet little ones God had placed in their home. It was great fun to watch them interact with my children who were around the same age. They came from a Spanish speaking home into a home that only knew English. Obviously the 3 year old was very withdrawn...... that is until she met her new 'best friends.'
It would be putting it mildly if I didn't admit to feelings of despair, frustration and helplessness watching the 3 year court battle to determine WHEN to terminate parental rights. Hearing my sister-in-law speak of the mandatory visits, voice her concerns about the times when they had to physically put the children in a car kicking and screaming to go for a visitation, was absolutely heart-wrenching. Especially as these sweet children were being grafted into part of our family. Although there was a Happily Ever After outcome to those 3 years of turmoil, John and I both decided that kind of journey to adoption was NOT for us! Too much heartache, too much sacrifice! There would be no way we could EVER do THAT! RIGHT?
After the adoption of my niece and nephew was official, we began coming into contact with people just like us (middle income families without an abundance), that were feeling lead to adopt. An official 'adoption ministry' was still not formed till a couple years later, however, quite a few families at our church were being lead to adopt. What they all had in common was the desire to please the Lord in everything. Most did not advertise what they were doing to avoid discouragement from fellow believers that were ignorant to the blessing of adoption. It was at this point that we were introduced to the many other methods of adoption.
~One such couple, also learning from watching my brother and sister-in-law, began the process of adopting legally free children from a neighboring state.
~Another couple WAS 'shouting from the rooftops' that they were seeking to adopt a sibling group internationally from Ethiopia. They were not done having children of their own but KNEW that the Lord had some amazing kids in Ethiopia that were not yet in their forever home.
~A third couple was beginning their journey through doing foster care, but ultimately adopted internationally.
With each instance of hearing from people that were actively pursuing adoption, this only ignited our desire too. One of the biggest myths of International adoption is: "IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE". While this is true, this is a statement that refuses to have faith in the providence of God and to understand God's heart towards adoption.
SEEING people just like us (no extra money or savings accounts in excess), being provided with funds that could ONLY come from the Lord was remarkable. It was similar to what the disciples must have felt when seeing 5 loaves and 3 fish feed the 5000 people and collect leftovers afterward. Our God is so big! With each instance of international adoption looking attainable, this seemed like an AWESOME witnessing opportunity. An amazing testimony to us frail, faithless people, that ANYTHING really is possible when it is a God thing. Money is never any obstacle to the Lord when He has plans to give orphans the forever family they need and the forever family the opportunity to experience God's adoptive/redemptive heart for us. So we prayed for God to move miraculously in our lives through the means of international adoption.
Fast forward now to after we move to Florida. During our first year we had no contact with anyone who was adopting, unless it was reading blogs from people in our home church family who were in the process of international adoption. In rejoicing in their 'Gotcha days', we would seek the Lord to petition Him. We wanted to know WHERE we should pursuit adoption so we could get this going........ By this time we even had the kids seeking the Lord regarding where and to give them the opportunity to pray for their future sibling(s). Yet we were not getting ANY answers. Since we became very familiar with our friends who were adopting internationally and hoped/assumed this would be the way the Lord would lead us too, we answered a radio ad from a local woman who had adopted with CWA. She was setting up informal meetings to introduce people to the world of International adoption. We came home with a load of information that included a country list. We prayed over each one of the counties and again NOTHING.
To be continued.........
