Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; 24 And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
We began praying for the Lord to empty us. To begin to see HIS adoption through HIS eyes and not jaded by our experiences, information or preferences.
I don't know about you but I have countless instances of experiencing this familiar silence. When God is moving in any area of my life, He must first break through my pre-conceived what if's and possible 'answers' and the flesh that wreaks with corruption. While God does want us to come to Him, expecting an answer, the contents of our hearts can presume too much of what His answer could be. Praise God that He sees us past our feeble, short-sighted point of view....... the kind of faith that has a very narrow and limited vision of what His perfect plan entails. If there was ever a song to speak volumes to this time of being deaf to His voice it would be this one by Sarah Groves.
During this time of silence was about the same time of the great earthquake in Haiti. There were reports of adoptions which were already in process, being expedited in order to get those children to safety. Then there were the other stories........ orphaned children coming to FLORIDA to be placed in temporary foster care until the country was stabilized. I probably spent a couple days spinning my wheels on the phone, on hold and making random contact with anyone who knew anything about the children coming into care. As with many other times where we get sidetracked from sitting at Jesus feet, this proved to be a venture of grasping at situational straws......... again to be met with hopes dashed because it was man-made without the providence of the Lord's direction.
Back to listening again....... with that emptiness and willingness, the Lord made clearer the path He had laid out for us. He confirmed it with this scripture in Acts 1: 4 Once when he was eating with them, he told them not to leave Jerusalem. He said, "Wait here to receive the promise from the Father which I told you about.
The context of the passage was actually in reference to them receiving the Holy Spirit, however, it was also in reference to the disciples asking where they should go to minster and tell of what the Lord had done. It was clear that he was instructing them to reach the people in their own neighborhood and this would then be a witness to those that God may also be calling.
What we do know is that we will be adopting through the state of Florida. In many of my previous attempts at 'doing my homework' regarding adoption, it was hard. People would not return phone calls, there was scheduling conflicts, ect. Where as once we received the green light, people would answer their phone, others would call back, concessions would be made so John and I could get the classes done separately but yet finish about the same time! Totally a God thing, since we didn't have local child care available to us. John and I have completed the classes to become certified to adopt so now it is just a process of getting in all of our paperwork, doing a homestudy and making minor modifications to the house to pass the homestudy.
The difference between the adoption of my niece and nephew and ours is that the state of Florida makes you chose between being a foster parent and an adoptive parent. Although the training for each is the same, they want people to know what their family can handle. Many who would get attached to easily and desire to adopt their foster children, could sabotage the re-unification process with the birth parents. Many foster parents DO become adoptive parents if the children in their care are not able to return home, however, they begin their journey with the hopes of reunifying children with their birth parents.
There is a website dedicated to Florida's waiting children called the Heart Gallery. I must admit that I have spent way too much time on there looking into the eyes of these children. My heart aches for them. It is overwhelming to SEE, knowing we are only ONE family. That we can't ease more of the uncertainty of these children....... just waiting. Many of whose hope has been extinguished more times than you or I have EVER experienced. SEE-ing is a motivator. Even if we can't take them all, I can commit to praying for more families to step up to the plate and love the unlovable. I can be a witness and not be silenced by people who do not want to SEE.
We have put an age parameter to our adoption but there is no real number limitation with the exception of what our house can hold...... Meaning we would take a sibling group if the state says our home is 'big enough'. So as we prepare for whatever comes our way I will probably be blogging a little bit here and there but lacking specific details until things become final.
PLEASE be praying for our hearts. One of the reasons we know the Lord was not directing us towards fostercare was due to the attachment of our children. They can spend one day with someone and consider them a best friend forever. The Lord knows this about them and so in His sweet way, He knows that anyone who comes to live here would not be able to be sent away. This would be too heart-wrenching. So as we review case files (without the kids) SEEing is an unforgettable experience. While John is excellent at discernment, I seem to lack this when it comes to kids without a mom & dad! Please pray for us as we complete all of our paperwork & seek the Lord to determine who we will be adding to our family! Thanks!
