Obedience part 1

I have been doing a bi-weekly small group biblestudy with some awesome ladies whom I first met when we moved into the Cape. We have been going through the book ‘The Five Dreams of every Woman’ by Sharon Jaynes. While each chapter has been very thought provoking and challenging, I wanted to share a couple of the latest chapters. Let’s just say they encouraged me along the path God has called us to so the scriptures we studied were very encouraging & powerful.

This chapter’s focus was about Sarai (Genesis 16). It was entitled “A Woman Who Interfered with God’s Dream.” This part of Sarai’s life was utilized to expose how taking matters into our own hands, thereby taking them out of the Lord’s, can change the course of HIS- story. When God is not moving at OUR pace and we see things through our jaded viewpoint, we can make a colossal mess by fixing something that God is doing. The effects of this one sin of Sarai’s, is felt among us today. It is the reason why there is a war between the descendants of Ishmael (Muslims) and the descendants of Isaac (Jews). Each one claiming the promise given to Abrahm by God to the ‘first born’ as their promise. Taking matters into our own hands was the part of her story of what not to do…….

Now we learn of another situation where one stayed loyal to the Lord while others devised their own plans. Exodus 24 is when Moses went up on the mountain to wait on the Lord. He was up on the mountain for 6 days before God appeared (Exodus 24:16). I am not sure about you but knowing my flesh, if I waited for the Lord for this much time I would have been having some serious doubts about if I was on the right mountain, if I was no longer worthy, ect…… However, Moses knew if He came down the mountain without direction he could never ‘fake’ his way into the promise land. He needed to wait.

On the 7^th day God appeared to Him and they were up there for 40 days (Exodus 24:18). Can you imagine 40 days of alone time with the Lord? That would be an amazing experience! Yet as we read in Exodus 32:19, when he came down, he is met with people who have already given up God for something tangible. God took too long, so the people replaced him. Yet when they were confronted with their sin, the blame shifting began and repentance was not present. (Exodus 32:20-24)

So many times, when the Lord tarries and we do not give Him the time to answer our request we do the same thing. We run ahead and FIX our eyes on something to replace the void. We may even replace it with something good but there is a big difference in a good thing verses a God thing. When we are called to account of that replacement, the heart attitude determines the consequences of what happens next. God is a jealous God. For the unrepentant hearts of those stuck in idolatry the results were death (Exodus 32:26-28). The unrepentant sin stained everyone in the camp.

As we can see from the situations above God’s timing was not according to the finite and present time but according to the eternal perspective. 2Peter 3:8-9 says ⁸Nevertheless, do not let this one fact escape you, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day. ⁹The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people's conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance.

There were so many awesome scriptures posted about waiting on Him and His plan so I am just going to post them all. I used the amplified version which is a bit wordy for some.

Psalm 5:3 In the morning You hear my voice, O Lord; in the morning I prepare [a prayer, a sacrifice] for You and watch and wait [for You to speak to my heart].

Psalm 37:7 Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass.

Proverbs 20:22 Do not say, I will repay evil; wait [expectantly] for the Lord, and He will rescue you.

Isaiah 30:18 And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!

Isaiah 40:27-31 Why, O Jacob, do you say, and declare, O Israel, My way and my lot are hidden from the Lord, and my right is passed over without regard from my God? 28Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not faint or grow weary; there is no searching of His understanding. 29He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength [causing it to multiply and making it to abound]. 30Even youths shall faint and be weary, and [selected] young men shall feebly stumble and fall exhausted; 31But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

Isaiah 64:4 For from of old no one has heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has the eye seen a God besides You, Who works and shows Himself active on behalf of him who [earnestly] waits for Him.

God Keeps His promises

Psalm 33:10-11 The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nought; He makes the thoughts and plans of the peoples of no effect. 11The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the thoughts of His heart through all generations.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever--forsake not the works of Your own hands.

Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.

The closing thought of the study was simply:

If you are waiting on God to fulfill His plans for your life, just remember: He does NOT need our interference. He simply requires our obedience. Commit to wait on God’s leading, direction, wisdom and provision for your life.

In the next post I will share some biblical examples of the blessings that occur, not only to us but to the people we get the privilege to come alongside, when allowing Him to lead!

Love & such

Been thinking a lot about this album that I was recently introduced to......... As per many things that have occured this year that we did not expect to happen these have been a helpful salve bringing my focus back where it should be. Thought I would share it with you. You will want to mute the side bar music. If you are reading this through your e-mail you will have to click over to the website in order to listen to the songs.

I’m tempted to sit back in my overstuffed chair

with a gavel in hand and a tired-eye stare that says

I’m not surprised you’ve messed it up again

I’m tempted to sigh, I’m tempted to yawn

if you’d only do life the way I’ve told you all along

It could be so easy

If you would only be more like me

But oh, that’s the beast that brings us down

It’s the devil in a satin gown

So don’t, don’t call it love (don’t call it love)

love wraps herself around the wound

and weeps while she speaks truth

So don’t call this love

Too much to say, not enough time

you’ve got so much to learn it’ll hurt for a while

but you know that I’m only concerned

I- only want to help

You got what you gave

I said that you would

I guess it must be really hard to be so unsure,

but it could be so easy if you would only be more like me

Chorus

Come along beside me

I’ll come along beside you

and I will wash your hands in my tears

I’ll take your boots to the river

and we can sing

where love makes music

love makes music

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AND THIS ONE.....

A Thousand Things

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep

Your’re gonna soak the pillow

for many weeks

You’re gonna cry

Why?

Why me?

But in spite of the ache

that doesn’t go away

You’ll be sharing your story

one rainy day

And at the next table somebody catches your words

He hears a truth that he’s never heard

He takes it back to the marriage he’d given up on

Hands it down to his daughter

who writes it into song

You didn’t know

A thousand things are happening in this one thing

Like a thousand fields nourished by a single drop of rain

So honey, wrap yourself in promise

while you wait the morning light

A thousand things are happening tonight

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep

‘cause for the moment all that you can see

Is what you’ve lost , lost

Why me?

But in the midst of the most exquisite pain

you’re drawn into a peace that You cannot explain

and the praises you sing of a sovereign God

reach the girl whose last hope is gone

she never thought there was purpose in anything here

now the seed has been planted and it’s taking root there

You didn’t know

Chorus

A thousand things are happening tonight

You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep

A thousand miracles you’ll have to wait and see

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Thankfully there is this one too:

EVERYTHING MOVES BUT YOU

When I was a child, I held to my mother tightly

Then I grew taller and left to follow my dreams

I went after my dreams, and some of them brought me delight

But they didn’t bring me everything I hoped they might

I fell into love like a skydiver in the clouds

It wasn’t enough, no, we couldn’t sustain it ourselves

All the things I pursue

Well, they stay for a season,

Then everything moves,

Everything moves, oh

My towers fall,

But you aren’t leaving me

‘Cause everything moves but you

I trained my body to run and not be weary

I worked and I read how to raise a better family

Then I bought a good house on the safe side of town, because I could

And as long as my life stays like this, I’m feeling good

Until my bones become brittle against my will

My heart is home, oh, to make the earth stand still

All the things I pursue

Well, they stay for a season,

Then everything moves,

Everything moves, oh,

My towers fall,

But you aren’t leaving me

‘Cause everything moves but you

You…I never outgrow you

You are a tree always in bloom

You are a hall of endless rooms

A living fountain springing up

I’m satisfied but never done

I’m never done

With you

Chorus

Memorials

This is a post that I wrote several years ago, before I began blogging. It was a journal entry from a place when God was doing a lot of cleaning house as he was peeling back the layers of my heart. I may share more journal entries of pre-blogging days as they can be great memorials of God's never-ending grace and unrelenting pursuit of us as His bride.

To make a long story short of why this old post is now relevant, a series of unfortunate events have transpired. Have you ever wanted to 'forget' about allowing God to do something in your heart because it meant this left you vulnerable to be hurt? These events made me so want to shrink back to the days before He began softening/melting away the layers of hurt that served to shield my heart. A time where, at the Lord's leading, my heart spilled out and I fell on the rock begging Him to help me trust Him in order to become vulnerable enough to trust others. It was a time of healing and restoration. Despite what has currently taken place to make me want to 'go back' and cling to old patterns of my flesh, God beckons once again. My heart pours out as I beg God to help restore my trust in others. God is sovereign and as He has proven over and over again, his promises are loving, true, and for my benefit. So for those of you wondering what the Lord is doing with our family, we are rebuilding memorials of His faithfulness, His provision and asking Him to restore the very clear direction we once had for this city where we live.

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Joshua 4 1 When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua, 2 "Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, 3 and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan from right where the priests stood and to carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight." 4 So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, 5 and said to them, "Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, 6 to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever." ……….. 17 So Joshua commanded the priests, "Come up out of the Jordan." 18 And the priests came up out of the river carrying the ark of the covenant of the LORD. No sooner had they set their feet on the dry ground than the waters of the Jordan returned to their place and ran at flood stage as before. 19 On the tenth day of the first month the people went up from the Jordan and camped at Gilgal on the eastern border of Jericho. 20 And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. 21 He said to the Israelites, "In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, 'What do these stones mean?' 22 tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.' 23 For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. 24 He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God."

God commanded the Isrealites to build a memorial to help them remember the awesome thing that the Lord did for them. They would have an amazing legacy to share with their children. This memorial was something visible so that they could never forget to share with their kids, grandkids and the many generations that followed. A physical proof designed to recall, reflect and remind a feeble minded people of the miracle of God’s provision in their lives.

So many times I have found that I take this concept to a different extreme. Instead of building memorials that show the next generations what the Lord has done for me & my family, showing evidence of His faithfulness toward our provision ……… In my flesh, I build different kinds of memorials. Unfortunately, these memorials are designed to protect & serve the purpose of self preservation……….. They are memorials to help bring to the forefront of my mind, hurtful words or actions done or said against my family or myself. Memorials that remind me not to get too close to anyone that will eventually either intentionally or unknowingly chose to hurt myself or someone I love. Idols that keep my mind held captive to what is not glorifying to God. Memorials of bondage…… bondage to what has either already transpired or will not yet be given the opportunity to transpire. Memorials that rob, cheat and steal God’s joy, peace & fruit in my walk with Christ.

The memorials in my life that I need to dwell on with the kind of devotion that the Lord desired for the Isrealites, should be ones that reflect this verse.
Philippians 4:8-9 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I was chatting with a pastor at church, who knew the process in which the Lord was taking me through and I told him........ "I asked the Lord to do this work in my heart, spilled out the pain, help me forgive and show me how to love despite unrepentance, but then it just gets thrown in my face again. How can I ever overcome something that never gets resolution." He replied very simply "The day you get it thrown in your face again and it does not make you cringe, with be the day God has had HIS way with the hurt and true healing is complete. There need not be resolution or even restoration, but the burden of the weight needs to rest on the Lord's shoulders, not yours." What he was showing me was that it isn't till that work of God or knowledge comes to life again and challenges the purification when we are given an opportunity to 'try again' that WE discover if God has a fully surrendered, purified & contrite heart. It is never a mystery to God, yet we are the ones who trade ignorance for the reality of where our heart finds its allegiance.

Sympathy is no substitute for action

This was a quote spoken by David Livingstone that described our family's presentation for this morning.


Sympathy is no substitute for action. David Livingstone


Our children are apart of a co-op where each family is required to give an oral presentation in front of all the other families to share about something regarding their family. Since we are in the process to adopt AND Orphan Sunday is this week, we decided to share a little bit about what we have discovered on the journey. Here is the informal speech the kids and I shared with our group.

Abby
About 4 in 10 Americans have considered adopting a child at one time in their lives. This equates to about 81.5 million adults. There are 150,000 children in foster care awaiting a couple willing to accept them as their forever family. These children would all have a family to call their own TODAY, if only 1 out of these 500 adults, who considered adoption, actually pursued and completed the adoption process. (National Adoption Attitudes Survey, June 2002)

500,000 children are in need to be loved & understood by caring foster parents due to a painful event that caused them to be taken away from their real mom & dad.

Ben
Worldwide, 15 million children have lost both their father and mother.

Tens of millions more do not have a FATHER in their lives.

Every 18 seconds a child becomes an orphan.

Every 15 seconds a child looses one parent to AIDS.

Michaela
Orphans are more at risk of becoming victims of violence, abuse, exploitation and trafficking.

Please allow me to share with you some common myths about adoption

Myth: Adoption is only for people who can’t have children of their own.
Reality: It is a logical belief that, by default alone, this is who may be ‘best suited’ for adoption. However, this is not the way the Lord works. When the church entertains this assumption, we in turn, reject God’s heart. There are over 40 scriptures in the Old Testament that show God's concern and compassion for orphans. If we are to put on the mind of Christ, we too, would share in his heart for orphans, seeking Him in how we can serve the least of these.

Myth: Adoptees are more likely to be troubled than biological children
Reality: Research shows that adoptees are as well-adjusted as their non-adopted peers.

Myth: Adoption is outrageously expensive therefore putting it out of reach for most one income families.
Reality: Through the foster care system, adoption is virtually free. Plus there is a state subsidy & medical insurance that continues after the adoption is final, that provides for the child till they are 18. The tax credits put in place for people who adopt, fully reimburse MOST adoption expenses! Simply put, adoptions are often, no more expensive than giving birth. Yet, strangely enough, one expense is favorable and the other is beyond your reach. There is a sad truth that is never considered when talking about this dollar amount. God loves ALL kids. They are each a PRICELESS masterpiece of his creation. His heart’s desire for each orphan is to be cared for, loved and cherished. God is not up in heaven struggling with how He can provide his church with enough money to care for them all. It is very clear in scripture that He is awesome at providing for our needs and that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. If He is calling you to do something, there is no such thing as an amount of money too great to meet the needs of God’s kids.

Myth: Parents can’t love an adopted child in the same way or as much as a biological child.
Reality: Love and attachment are NOT the result of, or guaranteed through, blood relation. The intensity of bonding and depth of emotion are the same regardless of how the child joins their family.

Abby
While many Christians give a ‘good reason’ why they do not feel called to orphan care, most reasons when stripped away, have more to do with fear than living out and seeking God’s heart for the orphan. As much as we might not want to admit it, many of us don’t like to think about orphans because, frankly, we’re scared of them. There is no doubt, orphan care can be risky. These kids need to be raised up, to be taught, to be hugged, and to be heard. Children who have been traumatized often need more love, attention and care than we ever thought we could give. It is so much easier to ignore those cries, however, true love of any kind is risky. The Gospel shows us that this self-sacrificing love is all worth it. God modeled it, even to the point of sending His son to die for us so that we may see eternity. As X-orphans ourselves, God had our eternity in mind when He created our forever home. The price of that sacrifice was great, however, it was priceless to Him because we are His kids.
My Part
In looking through the eyes of our children we model for them, God’s heart. Such an amazing & crucial responsibility. There comes a day when our kids SEE for the first time, what we have learned to ignore. Their hearts break when they SEE pictures of less fortunate children in the world. In response, we must bridge the gap of geography. These other children go to bed hungry, isolated from people who truly love them, and endure deplorable living conditions. With tender hearts, they wonder with uncertainty “Do you know about this?” conjoined with another thought, “What are we going to do about this?” Big questions for tiny hearts to grasp! It is inquired upon with such profound wisdom and a lively faith that inactivity should not be a choice. Their need to seek out justice for ALL of God’s kids, just bursts with possibility of a faith so large it must be cultivated.
Research has shown at ages 2 through 10, we validate or suppress their understanding of injustice by our action or idleness. If we chose to act, we show God’s love and compassion for ALL children and rightly reflect God’s heart. At this age and with their amazing childlike faith, it is not acceptable for life to be so hard, unfair or uncertain. When they are constantly told that the problem is too big and they are too small, this kind of ignorance fuels apathy.
By Jr high they become numb to the angst of injustice that was once so active within their hearts. Their desire to seek out God’s heart for the orphan is silenced by adults who have become numb themselves to the plight of orphans.
Once this continues into high school, friends, self-absorption, activities and other meaningless entertainment are utilized to drown out the cry. As you can clearly see, we must begin modeling this compassion at an early age in order for it to take effect.
If we ignite a fire in the hearts of the next generation to prevent them from becoming apathetic, ignorant and numb to the plight of orphans, we will accomplish great strides in instilling God’s heart & compassion for all his children. Gods most basic commandments are at the heart of orphan care.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind, with all your strength AND Love your neighbor as yourself.
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As Orphan Sunday is being celebrated this Sunday at many churches all across the country please pray for people to rise up and get that stirring in their heart. Not all orphan care is about adoption & foster care. Sometimes your part may look different but it will accomplish a common goal.

~ Just being a consistent person in a child's unstable life is a huge contribution.
~ Supporting a child in a 3rd world country where they can stay with the family that loves them is substantial.
~ Filling a shoebox for Samaritan's purse is an awesome gift to an orphan to show them the love of Christ.
~Being a cheerleader for those that are in the process or have adopted is an imperative part of the re-integration.
~Taking mission trips to orphanages in foreign countries is a way of seeking to comfort the many orphans.

If you want to remain apathetic & unaffected by the plight of God's forgotten kids that is between you and the Lord. There isn't much God can do with a hard heart. On the contrary,
God can do anything with a soft and moldable heart. He is the only one who knows how you are to play apart in orphan care IF you are willing to serve! However, He is a gentleman and will not demand you to do anything that you are grudgeful about or unwilling to do.

Roller coasters

The other day we traveled to Busch Gardens. The park had a special this year that if you pay for one day, you could get in the rest of the year for FREE. This was a Christmas gift for our family so we can go as many times in 2010 that our budget and schedule allows. We avoided most of the summer months so it had been quite a while since we had been there. Most of the time is spent lolly-gagging in one or more of the favorite spots like Jungulaya and Sesame Street land. Great for preschool age children and mine still love it too! Due to the fact that this place is more than just a roller coaster park it makes a good fit for our family. Eventually, I HOPE that I will not be the only one that appreciates G-forces beyond normal limits? Since the park was fairly vacant this time we spent A LOT of time on this ride.

Air Grover has a significant amount of pretty cool G-force even for a kiddy ride! This is not us on the ride but I thought you might like to see! This is one ride that most of the family rides together!

I did notice something a bit different on this trip in particular. Three of the rides that I went on no longer had the same effect on me that they used to. Usually when you ride a coaster you get a tickle in your belly or and intensity that just makes you want to scream. Instead of the 'normal' reaction, I found that I was a bit immune to the less daring coasters. Don't get me wrong, they are still fun, however, the one that 'ruined' my now immune coaster experience is called Sheikra.

You see, on this one there are 2 free fall drops where it stops you before you plummet (so you can SEE how far you will drop) then it brings you back up to DROP you again! Fun huh? We went to the park quite a few times before I even dared to go on it. Even for me, it looked CRAZY! My first time on it, ONCE was enough of a thrill for one day. However, the next time I went twice. It is still a thrill to go on, but the thrill it provides has 'ruined' me for the lessor tummy tickles of the other coasters. If you want the 'experience' of the coaster through video I found one for you to see what it is like in the front row. (still too chicken for that one myself!)

Seems kinda weird writing about my roller coaster experiences, but hold on for the deeper application behind it all. During one of these milder rides, I was bewildered at my new found immunity to less life threatening coasters. After the ride there was almost a great disappointment for NOT getting that same thrill/tickle in your tummy that you once had. As I was walking back to meet my family, I felt the Lord tugging on my heart.

Moving here to Florida is much like looking at Sheikra for the first time. It was scary to even think about if we would be able to take that risk. For the first year we dealt with a lot of grief from what we left behind but what made it all worth the 'ride' was the knowledge that God was doing something bigger that we just couldn't see yet. Initially our purpose was to serve where we were planted till until more of God's plan was revealed. Even though we had not a clue of what He had in store, we had that same feeling you get right before you get on a ride. The anticipation alone makes the wait worth while. During the waiting you don't see a ton of fruit within anything that you do, but you may see glimpses of what the Lord is doing personally. Molding, shaping and changing your preconceived notions of what we are capable of when we have the Lord doing things through us........

2 years have past. Even though we are about to embark on couple other 'Sheikra experiences' soon, which are exciting, what happens when that thrill dissipates? When we are down in the trenches immune to the hard growth that comes from these 'drops'? When we begin to measure with the worlds yard stick rather than Gods'. We are such a frail, faithless people that tend to look longingly back to the desert rather than seeking to fulfill what God has in store for the promise land. No matter where we loose focus, God is ALWAYS still faithful and moving amongst us. Even when there are no longer those 200 foot drops that give you that confirmation, do we still cling to, trust in and rely on the unseen? Much of our Christian lives are spent on the Merry-go-rounds and Air Grover rides, rather than dramatic free falls. It is so unfortunate that we sometimes become immune to the small ways in which HE chooses to use, minister and work in our lives on a daily basis. That there are battle scars more beautiful born out of sorrow pain than any born out of a mountain top experience. Our walks with the Lord are what we CHOSE to make of it. If we look through His eyes to seek out all opportunities to show Christ in the mundane, we will bear fruit. In chatting with the kids today I mentioned that everywhere we go, we have the ability to shine the light of Jesus. That there is no one opportunity more valuable than another. A trip to Wal-mart can easily turn into an opportunity to meet a lonely lady who JUST needed to see someone smile at her. This equates to the same impact of any preachers sermon on a Sunday morning. After all, we may see people that may never step foot in a church. Sometimes in the mundane we choose to 'check out'. We may miss an opportunity to see someone the way Jesus sees them because we are forgetful and less intentional to Him working through us in the everyday. We may miss a God-opportunity with our children because we are too busy to see what is heavy on their heart.

It is the same concept of being faithful in every situation we are blessed to be present in.

Luke 16:10 He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.

There are hurting people everywhere and there is no excuse not to be a light to give hope to a lost and dying world.

Colossians 4:5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

These are just some of the things the Lord has been gently reminding me of!

Why Adoption.... part 4

Picking up where I left off with tiring of the whole "No Answer" business, this got us asking the Lord what we were missing. I am not sure what others do when they seek & only hear the silence of no answer, but we have always been taught that it is, what it is. That no answer doesn't mean NO, or a 'closed door' but yet an opportunity to seek out the character of God by losing more of self. Since we KNOW God does want to give direction in everything, we see it as a sign that there is something that may be a hindrance towards hearing the answer. A familiar war between the flesh and spirit that must be taken to the feet of Jesus for further examination.
Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; 24 And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

We began praying for the Lord to empty us. To begin to see HIS adoption through HIS eyes and not jaded by our experiences, information or preferences.
I don't know about you but I have countless instances of experiencing this familiar silence. When God is moving in any area of my life, He must first break through my pre-conceived what if's and possible 'answers' and the flesh that wreaks with corruption. While God does want us to come to Him, expecting an answer, the contents of our hearts can presume too much of what His answer could be. Praise God that He sees us past our feeble, short-sighted point of view....... the kind of faith that has a very narrow and limited vision of what His perfect plan entails. If there was ever a song to speak volumes to this time of being deaf to His voice it would be this one by Sarah Groves.

During this time of silence was about the same time of the great earthquake in Haiti. There were reports of adoptions which were already in process, being expedited in order to get those children to safety. Then there were the other stories........ orphaned children coming to FLORIDA to be placed in temporary foster care until the country was stabilized. I probably spent a couple days spinning my wheels on the phone, on hold and making random contact with anyone who knew anything about the children coming into care. As with many other times where we get sidetracked from sitting at Jesus feet, this proved to be a venture of grasping at situational straws......... again to be met with hopes dashed because it was man-made without the providence of the Lord's direction.
Back to listening again....... with that emptiness and willingness, the Lord made clearer the path He had laid out for us. He confirmed it with this scripture in Acts 1: 4 Once when he was eating with them, he told them not to leave Jerusalem. He said, "Wait here to receive the promise from the Father which I told you about.
The context of the passage was actually in reference to them receiving the Holy Spirit, however, it was also in reference to the disciples asking where they should go to minster and tell of what the Lord had done. It was clear that he was instructing them to reach the people in their own neighborhood and this would then be a witness to those that God may also be calling.
What we do know is that we will be adopting through the state of Florida. In many of my previous attempts at 'doing my homework' regarding adoption, it was hard. People would not return phone calls, there was scheduling conflicts, ect. Where as once we received the green light, people would answer their phone, others would call back, concessions would be made so John and I could get the classes done separately but yet finish about the same time! Totally a God thing, since we didn't have local child care available to us. John and I have completed the classes to become certified to adopt so now it is just a process of getting in all of our paperwork, doing a homestudy and making minor modifications to the house to pass the homestudy.

The difference between the adoption of my niece and nephew and ours is that the state of Florida makes you chose between being a foster parent and an adoptive parent. Although the training for each is the same, they want people to know what their family can handle. Many who would get attached to easily and desire to adopt their foster children, could sabotage the re-unification process with the birth parents. Many foster parents DO become adoptive parents if the children in their care are not able to return home, however, they begin their journey with the hopes of reunifying children with their birth parents.

There is a website dedicated to Florida's waiting children called the Heart Gallery. I must admit that I have spent way too much time on there looking into the eyes of these children. My heart aches for them. It is overwhelming to SEE, knowing we are only ONE family. That we can't ease more of the uncertainty of these children....... just waiting. Many of whose hope has been extinguished more times than you or I have EVER experienced. SEE-ing is a motivator. Even if we can't take them all, I can commit to praying for more families to step up to the plate and love the unlovable. I can be a witness and not be silenced by people who do not want to SEE.

We have put an age parameter to our adoption but there is no real number limitation with the exception of what our house can hold...... Meaning we would take a sibling group if the state says our home is 'big enough'. So as we prepare for whatever comes our way I will probably be blogging a little bit here and there but lacking specific details until things become final.

PLEASE be praying for our hearts. One of the reasons we know the Lord was not directing us towards fostercare was due to the attachment of our children. They can spend one day with someone and consider them a best friend forever. The Lord knows this about them and so in His sweet way, He knows that anyone who comes to live here would not be able to be sent away. This would be too heart-wrenching. So as we review case files (without the kids) SEEing is an unforgettable experience. While John is excellent at discernment, I seem to lack this when it comes to kids without a mom & dad! Please pray for us as we complete all of our paperwork & seek the Lord to determine who we will be adding to our family! Thanks!

Why Adoption? part 3

Sorry, I am backing up a bit........ but this is part of our journey and our determination for why we are following this path that the Lord has laid out for us.

About a couple years prior to Benjamen's birth, my brother and sister-in-law were being drawn to the calling of becoming foster parents. This was WAY before there was an awareness or organized "Orphan Ministries" in the church and prior to Christians taking their call to care for the fatherless seriously. Many of the folks at our church just smiled inquisitively when my brother and sister-in-law had an opportunity to share what they were being lead to do. To be honest, I was no help to this either. While I wanted what was best for their family in any calling, I worked with Foster kids in DCF's care, for a period of time between 1991 - 1995. Being a witness to the lack of support systems & resources available to foster parents while knowing my brother was working with many of their parents in jail, it just didn't 'make sense' to put their family at risk. Although, working with the kind of children than came into DCF care very wounded, it was an optimal situation to place them in the care of their stable, loving and consistent home and show them Jesus. PRAISE GOD they continued in this calling and DIDN'T listen to my concerns!

Worldy wisdom/knowledge can be more of a hindrance towards obeying the Lord, than having a blind, hopeful & undefiled faith. Moving forward, knowing that God has your back is way more important than having all the 'experience' or information.

They did have a couple kids in and out of their home. There was one temporary placement that stayed with them for a time but then went back home. They also had done some respite care for other foster parents. A couple weeks prior to Benjamen's birth they got a call to take into care a set of siblings that were 3 years and 6 months old. What sweet little ones God had placed in their home. It was great fun to watch them interact with my children who were around the same age. They came from a Spanish speaking home into a home that only knew English. Obviously the 3 year old was very withdrawn...... that is until she met her new 'best friends.'

It would be putting it mildly if I didn't admit to feelings of despair, frustration and helplessness watching the 3 year court battle to determine WHEN to terminate parental rights. Hearing my sister-in-law speak of the mandatory visits, voice her concerns about the times when they had to physically put the children in a car kicking and screaming to go for a visitation, was absolutely heart-wrenching. Especially as these sweet children were being grafted into part of our family. Although there was a Happily Ever After outcome to those 3 years of turmoil, John and I both decided that kind of journey to adoption was NOT for us! Too much heartache, too much sacrifice! There would be no way we could EVER do THAT! RIGHT?

After the adoption of my niece and nephew was official, we began coming into contact with people just like us (middle income families without an abundance), that were feeling lead to adopt. An official 'adoption ministry' was still not formed till a couple years later, however, quite a few families at our church were being lead to adopt. What they all had in common was the desire to please the Lord in everything. Most did not advertise what they were doing to avoid discouragement from fellow believers that were ignorant to the blessing of adoption. It was at this point that we were introduced to the many other methods of adoption.

~One such couple, also learning from watching my brother and sister-in-law, began the process of adopting legally free children from a neighboring state.

~Another couple WAS 'shouting from the rooftops' that they were seeking to adopt a sibling group internationally from Ethiopia. They were not done having children of their own but KNEW that the Lord had some amazing kids in Ethiopia that were not yet in their forever home.

~A third couple was beginning their journey through doing foster care, but ultimately adopted internationally.

With each instance of hearing from people that were actively pursuing adoption, this only ignited our desire too. One of the biggest myths of International adoption is: "IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE". While this is true, this is a statement that refuses to have faith in the providence of God and to understand God's heart towards adoption.
SEEING people just like us (no extra money or savings accounts in excess), being provided with funds that could ONLY come from the Lord was remarkable. It was similar to what the disciples must have felt when seeing 5 loaves and 3 fish feed the 5000 people and collect leftovers afterward. Our God is so big! With each instance of international adoption looking attainable, this seemed like an AWESOME witnessing opportunity. An amazing testimony to us frail, faithless people, that ANYTHING really is possible when it is a God thing. Money is never any obstacle to the Lord when He has plans to give orphans the forever family they need and the forever family the opportunity to experience God's adoptive/redemptive heart for us. So we prayed for God to move miraculously in our lives through the means of international adoption.

Fast forward now to after we move to Florida. During our first year we had no contact with anyone who was adopting, unless it was reading blogs from people in our home church family who were in the process of international adoption. In rejoicing in their 'Gotcha days', we would seek the Lord to petition Him. We wanted to know WHERE we should pursuit adoption so we could get this going........ By this time we even had the kids seeking the Lord regarding where and to give them the opportunity to pray for their future sibling(s). Yet we were not getting ANY answers. Since we became very familiar with our friends who were adopting internationally and hoped/assumed this would be the way the Lord would lead us too, we answered a radio ad from a local woman who had adopted with CWA. She was setting up informal meetings to introduce people to the world of International adoption. We came home with a load of information that included a country list. We prayed over each one of the counties and again NOTHING.


To be continued.........